Dear SJP,
I need to tell you how much I love you. I'm a heterosexual Mom of one who has a limited budget to indulge in my clothing lust and since you came out with Bitten, I'm able to look good without spending big money.
Granted, I live in the Bay Area where there are no Steve and Barry's anywhere near me. I have to travel to Santa Maria Town Center mall to fill my little heart with contentment (and my shopping cart with clothes). Last week, I went in and bought a pair of low rise jeans that are actually long enough for my 34 1/2 inch inseam and that really great pea coat you have. I wore them tonight and got props for them.
Thank you for not being like so many celebs designing clothes only for 5'9" size four 22 year olds. It was gratifying to hear you say that you want all women, including a 41 year old size 12/14, to look good. And it's equally gratifying to see that a woman who is a size 22 and her daughter who is a size 8 can shop together happily.
But most gratifying of all was getting my Mom to shut up about how your line is for a 16 year old who is a size four and 5'9" and I'm insane to even look at your stuff. She stopped me once before from buying clothes from your line because she wouldn't stop talking long enough to hear your ad playing at the store. This time, in front of two women who were clearly size 18, as my Mom kept saying how 'fat' (read: me) women shouldn't be looking at your stuff, your voice wafted over her as she took a breath saying that Bitten is for women of all ages and all shapes and sizes. You shut her up as I haven't been able to shut her up about my size in 30 years.
(Full disclosure: my Mom is 73 years old, 5'2" and about 118 pounds. She thinks she's fat. She's fatter than she has ever been except for pregnancy but she still looks good. I think she's getting a lot of flak from her skinny younger sister. Plus Mom is starting to wear size 10 and 12 in pants which makes her too close to my size in her mind.)
Thank you, Sarah Jessica Parker, for remembering that we women want to look good but we can't all have a stylist get us a Marc Jacobs for an evening at Chuck E. Cheese with the kids. Thank you for making fun, well made clothes for a price that practically any woman can afford. Thank you for remembering that style doesn't die when you hit 40 - or be over a size 8. Thank you for making it real.
With love,
Exhausted Mommy
PS. Thanks for that article after you had your adorable son about how you didn't just 'bounce' back to your normal weight. We normal women appreciated hearing a celebrity tell the truth that your financial circumstances allowed you to hire a chef, nutritionist, trainer and a nanny who got you to be fabulous again. So many celebs are in denial about the village it takes to make them fabulous so it's good to see honesty out of one celeb.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Not so common sense travel dressing
I read about the two women who were reprimanded by Southwest Airlines flight attendants about their clothing choices today. The SF Chronicle had a picture of the one woman who got an apology from Southwest, she was in the outfit she got in trouble wearing. The skirt was Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct territory. Boy could have given her a gynecological exam in it. The other woman said that Southwest should have something available that told them what to wear.
I'm sorry? Did you have to get someone to tell you a halter top isn't a great idea no matter how hot it was outside? You can have a breast slip up. If Tara Reid had one at a red carpet event - and she's got a stylist putting her boobs in her clothes - then what makes you think when you're stashing your carry on over or under your seat isn't going to flash someone? And the chick with the short skirt? C'mon, would a pair of Target leggings been so hard to pack in your purse?
(They said they were upset they were dressed down in front of the other passengers. Was it more that they realised they looked a little skanky in other people's eyes or that they were publicly humiliated or both?)
There are people who bring up the fact that Southwest's flight attendants used to wear hot pants in the '70s so what is the deal with denying a young woman in a short skirt. As one man said, I don't want to have to explain anatomy to my son. Amen. If I want to have my son get a lesson in how to be a gynecologist, I can take him to mine to explain things on the chart. After all, my gyn is also the man who was my OB so he knows my son very well already.
Some have even brought up the fact that young female celebrities are often caught out and about partying sans panties. Yeah. And we snicker at them while reading Perez Hilton, or TMZ. If their stylists can't get them into a pair of Commando panties because these young women are more considered about their pantylines than being labeled 'fire crotch' by young wannabe moneyed scions, then fine. But it just shows they have no taste or questionable upbringing. Kathy Hilton, I know you must have tried with Paris. Dina Lohan, stop trying to be your daughter's older sister and be her friggin' Mom. It ain't all your fucked up husband's fault Lindsey's a mess. But I digress.
Back before airline travel became the equivalent to buses with wings, people used to take care to dress well. They put on their nicest clothes, women put on make up and everyone tried to look good because this was an experience. Heck, people would look good to run to the store to get some milk and eggs.
Now, you get on a flight, you have to hope that you're not sitting next to someone who got up late and had to choose between a cup of coffee and a shower and the shower lost. Not like there isn't 100 Starbucks to be crossed once you get through security or anything. And then you might get the freak who didn't take the shower but decided that extra dose of cologne might cover up their ripeness. Oy!
I read that American Airlines has posted something that says they will deny you your seat if you're dressed inappropriately or smell stinky. Hurrah. More airlines need to adopt an across the board thing that says they will kick your ass of the plane for more than being a drunken asswipe. If people are too in love with their short skirted, underwear hanging out of their jeans look to dress appropriately, they can drive.
Sure, there have been times when I've gotten into coach wearing sweatpants. But my sweatpants weren't stained, torn or looking worse for wear. I've got nothing against sweatpants on a plane - considering the seats aren't comfortable, you should wear comfy clothes. But, at least try to look like you didn't just pull them out of your gym bag because you didn't dry your jeans enough in the dryer the night before. Ick.
Travel writers list as one of their tips is dress well if you want to be treated well. It's true. The couple of times I've traveled first class (thank you frequent flyer miles), I took them time to dress a little better. If I wore jeans, I made for damned sure I had nice shoes and a nice blouse. Even Boy is dressed nicely because I don't want him to look like a little hoodlum when we get there. Since when we do travel, it's pretty much only coach, I try to still make sure that I look like I deserve to be there. Husband is climbing the ranks of his frequent flyer membership with one of the major airlines so he gets seating upgrades when we travel together (hallalujah) so it is imperative that I look like I belong there.
When I was working in retail years ago, I used to judge people by what they wore. I worked in an upscale mall in SoCal so I assumed that the better dressed were better off. Au contraire. One of our more well of clients would come in looking like he was recently off a week long bender and buy a lot on his platinum Amex. (This is before I knew of the Amex Black) He didn't smell funny or anything but you could tell once you got close that his look was more carefully crafted than an actual lack of personal hygiene.
So people, when you decide you need to get on a plane for business, leisure or whatever, here are some simple rules to follow:
1. Dress like you are going to your Grandma's. Don't wear that low rise pair of pants without something to cover up your plumber's crack. No tube tops, halter tops unless you bring a blouse or a sweater to throw on over it. If you need to wear that short skirt, buy a pair of cheap leggings to pull on when you leave the house and pull them off when you get to your destination airport so you can impress whoever it is you're trying to impress. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas - but on the way there and on the way home, we don't want to see your Brazilian wax.
2. Take a damned shower. I know, the Europeans and some other cultures think that bathing is overrated and we North Americans are really overzealous in our need to bathe regularly, but damn. That smell is worse than some great cheeses. At least with cheese, I still want it. That smell off your body isn't going to make me want you. Even if you're the hottest actor that I'd like to lick whipped cream off of, if you smell rank, I ain't gonna want none of that (my husband is the only man I want to lick whipped cream off of). And no, putting on extra cologne or perfume isn't going to make the nasty smell go away. You are going to smell like body odor and Davidoff's Cool Water. Five hours plus on a flight with that will make us all have mad cow disease.
3. Get off the damned phone. Please. Your life can wait for awhile. I do not want to hear your business transaction or that chat with your Mom about how you got upgraded at the Venetian to a suite because they screwed up your reservation because you chose to show up later than their posted late check in time and you rarely were in the room. I saw a flight attendant politely say over the PA that everyone needed to get off their cell phones because one woman two ahead was babbling about her trip to Vegas while they were trying to give the safety chat. The flight attendant said it twice. The other flight attendant stood in front of her doing the universal sign of stop (the slicing across the throat) and she still went on and on. Finally, the flight attendant on the PA looked at the woman and pointedly said her seat number and how she had to get off the phone NOW. Or else. She got off the phone. I thanked the flight attendant later.
Okay, the last one is less about dressing but come on people, let's try that personal responsibility thing.
I'm sorry? Did you have to get someone to tell you a halter top isn't a great idea no matter how hot it was outside? You can have a breast slip up. If Tara Reid had one at a red carpet event - and she's got a stylist putting her boobs in her clothes - then what makes you think when you're stashing your carry on over or under your seat isn't going to flash someone? And the chick with the short skirt? C'mon, would a pair of Target leggings been so hard to pack in your purse?
(They said they were upset they were dressed down in front of the other passengers. Was it more that they realised they looked a little skanky in other people's eyes or that they were publicly humiliated or both?)
There are people who bring up the fact that Southwest's flight attendants used to wear hot pants in the '70s so what is the deal with denying a young woman in a short skirt. As one man said, I don't want to have to explain anatomy to my son. Amen. If I want to have my son get a lesson in how to be a gynecologist, I can take him to mine to explain things on the chart. After all, my gyn is also the man who was my OB so he knows my son very well already.
Some have even brought up the fact that young female celebrities are often caught out and about partying sans panties. Yeah. And we snicker at them while reading Perez Hilton, or TMZ. If their stylists can't get them into a pair of Commando panties because these young women are more considered about their pantylines than being labeled 'fire crotch' by young wannabe moneyed scions, then fine. But it just shows they have no taste or questionable upbringing. Kathy Hilton, I know you must have tried with Paris. Dina Lohan, stop trying to be your daughter's older sister and be her friggin' Mom. It ain't all your fucked up husband's fault Lindsey's a mess. But I digress.
Back before airline travel became the equivalent to buses with wings, people used to take care to dress well. They put on their nicest clothes, women put on make up and everyone tried to look good because this was an experience. Heck, people would look good to run to the store to get some milk and eggs.
Now, you get on a flight, you have to hope that you're not sitting next to someone who got up late and had to choose between a cup of coffee and a shower and the shower lost. Not like there isn't 100 Starbucks to be crossed once you get through security or anything. And then you might get the freak who didn't take the shower but decided that extra dose of cologne might cover up their ripeness. Oy!
I read that American Airlines has posted something that says they will deny you your seat if you're dressed inappropriately or smell stinky. Hurrah. More airlines need to adopt an across the board thing that says they will kick your ass of the plane for more than being a drunken asswipe. If people are too in love with their short skirted, underwear hanging out of their jeans look to dress appropriately, they can drive.
Sure, there have been times when I've gotten into coach wearing sweatpants. But my sweatpants weren't stained, torn or looking worse for wear. I've got nothing against sweatpants on a plane - considering the seats aren't comfortable, you should wear comfy clothes. But, at least try to look like you didn't just pull them out of your gym bag because you didn't dry your jeans enough in the dryer the night before. Ick.
Travel writers list as one of their tips is dress well if you want to be treated well. It's true. The couple of times I've traveled first class (thank you frequent flyer miles), I took them time to dress a little better. If I wore jeans, I made for damned sure I had nice shoes and a nice blouse. Even Boy is dressed nicely because I don't want him to look like a little hoodlum when we get there. Since when we do travel, it's pretty much only coach, I try to still make sure that I look like I deserve to be there. Husband is climbing the ranks of his frequent flyer membership with one of the major airlines so he gets seating upgrades when we travel together (hallalujah) so it is imperative that I look like I belong there.
When I was working in retail years ago, I used to judge people by what they wore. I worked in an upscale mall in SoCal so I assumed that the better dressed were better off. Au contraire. One of our more well of clients would come in looking like he was recently off a week long bender and buy a lot on his platinum Amex. (This is before I knew of the Amex Black) He didn't smell funny or anything but you could tell once you got close that his look was more carefully crafted than an actual lack of personal hygiene.
So people, when you decide you need to get on a plane for business, leisure or whatever, here are some simple rules to follow:
1. Dress like you are going to your Grandma's. Don't wear that low rise pair of pants without something to cover up your plumber's crack. No tube tops, halter tops unless you bring a blouse or a sweater to throw on over it. If you need to wear that short skirt, buy a pair of cheap leggings to pull on when you leave the house and pull them off when you get to your destination airport so you can impress whoever it is you're trying to impress. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas - but on the way there and on the way home, we don't want to see your Brazilian wax.
2. Take a damned shower. I know, the Europeans and some other cultures think that bathing is overrated and we North Americans are really overzealous in our need to bathe regularly, but damn. That smell is worse than some great cheeses. At least with cheese, I still want it. That smell off your body isn't going to make me want you. Even if you're the hottest actor that I'd like to lick whipped cream off of, if you smell rank, I ain't gonna want none of that (my husband is the only man I want to lick whipped cream off of). And no, putting on extra cologne or perfume isn't going to make the nasty smell go away. You are going to smell like body odor and Davidoff's Cool Water. Five hours plus on a flight with that will make us all have mad cow disease.
3. Get off the damned phone. Please. Your life can wait for awhile. I do not want to hear your business transaction or that chat with your Mom about how you got upgraded at the Venetian to a suite because they screwed up your reservation because you chose to show up later than their posted late check in time and you rarely were in the room. I saw a flight attendant politely say over the PA that everyone needed to get off their cell phones because one woman two ahead was babbling about her trip to Vegas while they were trying to give the safety chat. The flight attendant said it twice. The other flight attendant stood in front of her doing the universal sign of stop (the slicing across the throat) and she still went on and on. Finally, the flight attendant on the PA looked at the woman and pointedly said her seat number and how she had to get off the phone NOW. Or else. She got off the phone. I thanked the flight attendant later.
Okay, the last one is less about dressing but come on people, let's try that personal responsibility thing.
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