Friday, October 17, 2008

"Enjoy it now because the time is so short..." and other stupid things people say

I wish I could smack the next person who gives me that smile and says about having a three year old, "Enjoy the time you have with him because this time is just so short." Or my other 'favourite' which is "You should ignore the doctor and have another child." Really?
It happened yesterday while I was out shopping. The sales clerk - who had to be around my age or if she wasn't, really looked older than she should - and I were chatting while she was ringing me up. We both have three year olds and she was saying the line about enjoying this time with them and how she thought I should have another one. When I demurred, she said that she nearly died with her second son but decided to have the third one. And if that didn't stop her, why should I not have another one?
Politely, I told her that I would rather be relatively healthy with my one than extremely ill with two that I couldn't take care of. I didn't want to remind her that of course being a Mom was grand for her - she got to escape her kids for a few hours a day by working. It's easier to appreciate your kids when they aren't driving you nuts 24/7.
What I really want to tell these busybodies who mean well or just don't know when to back the fuck off the subject is...
Sure, tell me how to enjoy this time when I spend it cleaning up the last mess my son did while trying to kill himself. The water he sprayed all over the floor in the kitchen when he moved the chair in there so he could play with the attachment because I was busy trying to clean up the water on the floor in the bathroom that he poured in the floor while he was standing in the sink. Why was he in there? Because I was peeing in my bathroom. I know, how silly of me to leave him alone for two minutes but I hadn't peed in two hours and my bladder was going to burst. What a selfish thing to do.
Oh, and by the way, enjoying the time is great when you've had sleep but I haven't slept eight straight hours more than four times in three years. Don't tell me that I can sleep when he sleeps because when he finally goes down at night, it's the only time I have to get my house clean and put away all the toys that ended up under the couch. It's the only time I have to catch up on wrapping packages and writing out birthday cards to friends and family. It's the only time I have to talk to my husband and watch the three shows I DVR'd to save my sanity from endless Caillou, Dragon Tales, et al.
No, my son isn't ADD or ADHD or any of those alphabet soup things. He's a kid with far more energy than his middle aged Mother can handle. He's too curious about the world and I am constantly trying to keep ahead of him in a house that isn't built for a curious toddler. The locks are a joke so I'm constantly chasing him back into the house from the backyard with its dangers and trying to keep him out of the garage with the tools my husband has decided do not need to be put away. Short of locking him in a large dog kennel, I'm going to be a heartbeat away from wondering when he's going to really do damage to himself.
So, no, I'm not enjoying this that much. I do not want to do this again. At least, not without a buttload of cash for a nanny to do the chasing.

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