Gift giving made simple

Husband is about to go visit friends in his hometown in a couple of weeks. I am happy he's going to visit his friends (it's too far for us to cart Boy - a long flight then a plane change) for a week. But what I dread is the amazing amount of stuff he'll bring home for Boy.
They mean well. Most of the people who give Boy gifts mean well. But they give us toys that end up being given to charity because Boy has no interest in them. Boy would rather play with an empty soda or juice bottle than play with a stuffed animal or a plastic truck. His interests aren't to the pretty coloured Fisher Price aisle at Target but the gadgets I get for the kitchen. Or the box of tissues I get. Anything but actual toys.
Okay, that's not entirely true. Boy does like Legos. We get him rogue Legos from the Lego Store (bags of random Legos they sell for $8 for two big bags) which he loves to play with.
So, little tips from a Mommy to the rest of you well meaning souls who want to give gifts to a friend/relative's little person (whether it's a baby or a toddler or a child):
1. Toys are great but make sure you know the child well enough to buy for it. The Barbie penthouse you sent for little Astrid is great but does Astrid play with Barbie? Or is she two? Or the mechanized mini Humvee you sent Tyler? Who lives in an apartment complex? And is nine months old? If you plan on sending a really nice gift, please send a gift receipt. It doesn't have the price you paid on it but they can always find out even if you don't. It makes it easier for the parents when they return it to whatever store you got it at (and they also don't have to try to figure out where you bought it). Don't try making up to the child the gifts you never got as a child.
2. Clothes. Just because Ilsa is 18 months old doesn't mean that she is wearing 18 months clothing. Ilsa could possibly wearing 9 to 12 month clothing. Or in Boy's case, he was wearing 24 month to 2T clothing. Always buy larger. Trust me, the kid will grow into it. And the parents will thank you later for buying a T shirt or outfit they can grow into. (Sub tip: end of season sales can get you some great deals on gifts - buy two sizes larger than the child needs to be safe so they can be worn for the season after).
3. Gift cards are a great gift. Do you think it's tacky - like giving money(in some cultures, giving money isn't tacky but considered the correct thing to do)? It isn't. A gift card for an infant for Target, KMart, Babies/Toys R Us, Costco/Sam's Club is really a blessing because trust me, the little angels need diapers and formula like you wouldn't believe. Kids until they are about three or four, haven't a clue what their birthday is or Christmas or whatever gift giving holiday your embrace is. Their parents do. Giving their parents a gift card helps them dress their little angels or whatever. Giving a gift card for a child over the age of four is great because the kids feel like they are getting money to buy what they want and it's empowering for them. I give gift cards to my friends kids - but I don't just hand them a greeting card with the card inside. I try to buy something to put them in. An expensive wallet or purse (I plan to pick up some plastic wallets in Vegas for Christmas gift cards). I give my cousin's nine year old a gift card for Barnes and Noble for his birthday and Christmas because he loves to read and I want to encourage that. Instead of putting it in a card, I buy an interesting classic or a book a friend has recommended and put the card in it. It's a double gift.
Okay, the topic of travel. We met up with some friends this spring in a city half way between where Husband grew up and where we live. His friends told us to keep a lot of space in our suitcase for the gifts they were bringing. As it is when we travel, I always have to take our largest suitcase to just pack up clothes and various Boy required things with a tiny bit of my stuff (I have to carry MY clothes in a carry on). So to my horror, I watched as they walked into our hotel room with a three foot by three foot box that contained two large construction toys, a 'baby' pillow, a large stuffed animal and a sweater. And stuff for both Husband and I. We had to ship the construction toys home. We had to split all the stuff they gave us between my overstuffed suitcase (that ended up nearly five pounds over limit and I couldn't move anything into my overstuffed carry on), Husband's suitcase (he left from that city to a business trip for two days) and my Mom's suitcase.
(Post script on these friends: they are expecting their first child at the beginning of next year. Husband has already said if we meet up with them again, we are going to buy the biggest stuffed animal we can find to give them to take home. It probably will piss them off but we'll remind them that's pretty much what they did to us.)
If you plan to meet up with friends or family on a joint trip, try NOT to bring anything that can't be easily packed in a suitcase or carry on for the trip home. We're meeting up with my cousin and her family in Las Vegas in a week. She has two daughters that are elementary school aged. I bought them each an inexpensive backpack that can double as a cool carry on and put in small items that they can pack if they choose to not take the backpacks home. They have hair clips, bangle bracelets, beaded necklaces (all in a $1 make up bag I picked up at a Japanese gee gaw store), disposable film cameras, notepads, maple syrup from the town near where Husband grew up. Silly things that should amuse them for a bit.
Another cousin of mine recently returned from a trip back home to Korea. Before they left, I assembled for his three boys three inexpensive backpacks that I bought last year at the post Back to School sales. I spent the last year thinking about things to get two kindergarteners and one nine year old. The twins got activity books to prepare them for kindergarten along with a new box of crayons, stickers, beginner chopsticks, colouring books, games and a cool key chain for their backpack zippers. For the nine year old, I bought a set of Jules Verne books and HG Wells books, a blank notebook to use as a journal along with a pencil case with a dozen sharpened pencils and pens, beginner chopsticks and a puzzle book. I told their parents that the backpacks were cheap and they could destroy them or lose them, it didn't matter but I wanted to give them something that would keep them busy until they got at least a third of the way across the Pacific.
The bottom line on gift giving for kids is that you don't have to have a Special Occasion. You can gifts because you think they'd like it. A cool t shirt or a book is always good. But if you really want to give them something they like, get to know them and really get them something they will like. If you don't know them or don't want to ask, please get a gift card. It saves you the embarrassment of later asking how Alex liked the Tickle Me Elmo Extreme you got for them and finding out that Alex doesn't like Elmo so Elmo got exchanged for something else.
(If you live in a different country, start with a t shirt from your hometown then when you arrive in your host's country, have them take you places that they normally shop and offer to pick up a box of diapers or pick up a gift card. Heck, even some grocery stores in the US and Canada carry Master Card, Visa and American Express as well as store gift cards in various denominations that you can give.)